January 19, 2012 | Vol. 39, No. 3

Praise to my wife

It all started with a pat on the back from the Chief of Police who praised the work of one of his employees at the end of the city council meeting. Nothing to worry about I thought. But Chief Agner stammered a bit and then broke into unabashed praise for his wife, Sgt. Heidi Agner.

The Chief started, “Normally I don’t do this. It is going to be a little odd because it’s somewhat nepotism related. But I really would like to recognize Sgt. Heidi Agner. Sgt. Agner …who through a great deal of diligence, who for well over a year, has been working a very, very complex investigation. Only because of such very hard work, she seized not only 2 ounces of meth but also a quarter pound of heroin. A quarter pound of heroin, which is a significant amount of drugs coming into our community.”

Following a round of applause the mayor urged: “Let’s give all of our wives a hand.”

Wow, I thought, when was the last time I threw the accusations of nepotism aside and publicly praised my wife?

Chief Agner scored more points at a council meeting than I do after a trip to the flower shop in search of a special bouquet.

As I drove into the driveway, I hoped Anne had turned in early and didn’t hear the end of the council meeting.

As I entered the house, I knew immediately she wasn’t in bed. But maybe she hadn’t heard the police chief.

Nope, no such luck.

“When are you going to praise me for my work?” she asked.

“Well love, Heidi did pull off a pretty good drug bust,” I noted.

“And my work is chopped liver?” she questioned.

“I worked full-time at the clinic for three years, kept books for the family business, did the laundry and cooked meals each night,” she said.

“Yes dear. But Heidi took drugs off the streets, and as I recall, you administered drugs when you worked at the clinic,” I explained.

“They were pharmaceuticals legally prescribed by doctors,” she detailed.

“Oh, that’s right,” I recalled. “But did you hear the mayor, love? When he told everyone to give all of our wives a hand, I clapped really, really loudly…did you hear me?”

Slam! The bedroom door closed.

Thanks, Chief.

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